The Many Ways To Win Someone's Heart
by MonaLisa20
Summary: Decus is fixed on conquering Alice, but things haven't been going too well. He decides to follow the steps on a book based on Zelos Wilder's tricks on getting women. Decus/Alice
1. Prologue

Hello, my dear readers! Thank you so much for stopping by the factory!

_Info on this story:_

**Title:** The many ways to win someone's heart

**Rating:** K

**Pairing:** Decus/Alice (Dice? Ha ha, how is this paring called? ^^)

**Genre:** Romance and humor

Today I bring you this multi-chapter fic based on one of my favorite parings! I really hope you enjoy!

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><p><strong>THE MANY WAYS TO WIN SOMEONE'S HEART<strong>

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><p><strong>PROLOGUE<strong>

"Oh! At last!" Decus raised a thick blue book high in the air "The book I ordered has arrived!"

Next to him, Alice rolled her amber eyes "Do you even know how to read?" she said in her usual sugar-sweet voice.

"Why, yes I do, my dear Alice! And _very_ well, may I add" He smiled sultrily at her.

She pushed a strand of white-blonde hair to the back of her ear and readjusted her dress. It was a very hot day in the vanguard base. The fabric of her clothes felt almost too thick

"Whatever, Dumbo-Decus." She bent her toy rapier "I'll go talk to Hawkie while you read your stupid little book. Try not to hurt yourself, okay?" She winked at him and left, leaving him all alone at the entrance's garden (or what _used_ to be a garden at some point).

"I'll wait for you, my Alice!" He said clutching his book close to his chest with one arm as his other hand extended towards the leaving form of Alice. He sighed and sat cross-legged on the ground. He scanned the book's light blue leather cover: _The many ways to win someone's heart _said the title. According to what he had heard, the book had been written by a man named Sebastian who said he learned all of this tricks from the infamous Zelos Wilder. Zelos was über-lucky with women- and even if he was a despicable tethe'allan, he certainly knew how to get chicks. Decus didn't want chicks, he just wanted _Alice_! Was that really too much to ask?

"This is just what I need!" He said feeling giddy "If I follow the steps on this book, my beloved Alice will finally love me back!"

He opened the book with a huge grin.

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><p>And that's the prologue! Thank you so much for reading! I don't know how many chapters will be in this story- Probably five or so, but who knows?<p>

I hope you enjoyed it and see you soon! Oh and if you did enjoy (or even if you didn't) please review!

**~MonaLisa**


	2. Step 1

Hello everyone! I figured I'd post the prologue and the first chapter together!

Anyhow, I'll give you the info on this story again:

**Title:** The many ways to win someone's heart

**Rating:** K

**Pairing:** Decus/Alice

**Genre:** Romance and humor

I hope you enjoy! ^^

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><p><strong>THE MANY WAYS TO WIN SOMEONE'S HEART<strong>

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><p><strong>1<strong>

**ALICE WHO?**

_**Step 1: Never call a lady by her name**_.

The way you approach women is incredibly important. Make sure you never address them by their name. Instead, try a nickname that suits their physical attributes. Some examples include "Miss Angel, Jubblies, Little one, and Gorgeous –Ultra-Cool- Beauty". But "hunny" will suffice as well- it always seems to do the trick.

…

Luin seemed smaller since the last time they were there. This was probably since there wasn't any more water surrounding it. Hm. It certainly made the city look wider and prettier. But whatever, it's not like Decus particularly cared.

Alice was supposed to be here with Richter, so he just needed to find her and set his plan into action. The sun was high in the sky and he had to shade his eyes with his hand so that it didn't burn his pupils. Summer was his least favorite season. It was too hot in Sylvarant, and it made him sweat like crazy- he should probably wear less layers of clothing, but how would he impress Alice if he wasn't wearing this irresistibly cool outfit?

He kept walking until he finally found her by the fountain. She was staring at a sheet of paper in her hand, and whenever her eyes traveled towards Lloyd's statue, she'd wrinkle her nose and go back to reading whatever was written on that paper. She raised her eyes and looked right at him. His heart gave a jolt. _'Okay. Here I go'_

"Decus! What took you so long?" Her eyebrows furrowed "Look," She motioned at the piece of paper in her thin hands "These are Richter's instructions. He said we need to find more exspheres. So our next stop is Palmacosta" Her eyes narrowed just slightly "We'd already be there if it wasn't for you! Dumbo-Decus, always slowing me down" She sinsonged.

The corners of Decus's mouth curved upwards "Al-" He shook his head _'almost messed up!'_ "My super-pretty-big-eyed- beauty!" He grinned "You were waiting for me! You were worried about me! I'm so happy" He walked closer to her.

Alice blinked looking disgusted. She took a step back "_What_ did you call me?"

"My Super-pretty-big-eyed-beauty!" Decus replied confidently "'Cause that's just what you are!" He winked.

There was a pause. Alice looked incredulous. A few people passed them by, staring at them with fear.

"Have you been reading too much?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"Oh! My dear Ali-I mean, hunny!" Decus placed a hand over his heart "Your concern for me makes me blush!"

"_Concern?_" Alice spat mockingly "How many times do I have to tell you I only care for myself?" She rolled her eyes "I guess you finally lost it, Dumbo-Decus. Come on, we better get going. I don't want Richter to get mad at me again" She turned around gracefully and skipped towards the city's exit.

"I'm right behind you, hunny!" Decus waved.

"Dammit" He mumbled angrily "That didn't work"

He followed after Alice.

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><p>That's the very first chapter! I really hope you enjoyed it.<p>

See you next time!

**~MonaLisa**


	3. Step 2

Hello, my lovely readers! I'm back with the second chapter of this story.

I want to thank all of you who took the time to review and favorite this story! I'm very glad to see you have been enjoying it.

_So, on with the info on this fic:_

**Title:** The many ways to win someone's heart

**Rating:** K

**Pairing:** Decus/Alice (_Delice_- as a fellow writer kindly told me)

**Genre:** Romance and humor

Without further ado, here it is!

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><p><strong>THE MANY WAYS TO WIN SOMEONE'S HEART<strong>

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><p><strong>2<strong>

**REACH OUT TO TOUCH ME**

_**Step 2: Hold her hand to show you care**_.

Now that you found a nickname for your lady, it's time to get closer to her- literally. It is of great importance to get as physically close to her as possible when conversing. Also, you may add an extra touch by holding her hand close to you when speaking. This will show her you feel confident in yourself as a courter and wish to openly express your interest in her.

…

Alice was like a little girl -an evil little girl, for sure- in more ways than one. She was easily distracted by pretty dolls in the store window displays- and had even bought a few only to throw them away soon after. She liked to stare at colorful balloons and buy lollipops and ice cream whenever they stopped at a city. And she even sometimes –though she might never admit it-enjoyed trying on cute dresses at stores. But above anything else, she just couldn't resist the taste of chocolate- no matter how hard she tried. And she was most definitely craving a chocolate bar right now. So since Alice pretty much lived by the motto of _'whatever Alice wants, Alice gets',_ she was most definitely getting that chocolate she wanted so much no later than_ now_.

She walked through Meltokio in search of a candy store. She found one just around the corner. A small, snobbish (just like everything else in that stuck-up city) sweet shop. There was a blue sign outside that said WE HAVE EVERY CANDY FLAVOR UNDER THE SUN.

'_Every flavor under the sun, huh? We'll see'_ she thought as she entered the shop.

Inside, the store was bright and full of different colors. There were cute pink tables set for customers and pastries and jars filled with candy everywhere. It smelled like sugar cones and cookie dough. There was a blonde, cheerful saleswoman in a ponytail and a pink apron by the display cases.

"Welcome to Sonia's Sweeties!" The saleswoman smiled broadly. Alice rolled her eyes at the cheesy name "How can I help you today?" she asked.

"Oh. I wanted to get some chocolate, ma'am" Alice said in a singsongy voice.

"Of course! We have the broadest selection in Tethe'alla" She winked. Alice walked to stand right in front of the display cases.

It turned out they did have an incredible chocolate bar selection. There were your classics like dark and white chocolate, but they also had odd flavors like cherry and bubble gum.

So in the end, she walked out of the store munching on a delicious milk chocolate bar- just what she needed. As she approached the city's exit, she heard someone call her name.

"Alice! My sweet Alice! Wait for me"

She groaned and turned around.

"Decus" She narrowed her eyes just slightly as Decus caught his breath "What are you doing here? Have you found our little Colettie yet? You know Richter is running out of patience. . ." She said taking a bite of her chocolate bar.

Decus heaved "Not yet, Alice. But it won't take long, my dear! I've been doing my very best and have come across some pretty good clues about her whereabouts" He said sultrily, taking a step closer to her.

Alice's eyes widened "Oh? You haven't found Colettie yet? Poo!" She said "Now I'm so, so sad! When are you going to stop disappointing me, Dumbo Decus?" She stomped her foot childishly.

"Darling Alice," He said taking another step forward "Forgive me. I promise I'll bring her to you personally. Even if I die trying!"

The words on the book he bought came to mind: _'Hold her hand to show you care'_. _'Alright!'_ Suddenly, he reached out and firmly grabbed Alice's hand-which was still holding the bar of chocolate- to bring it close to his chest "Alice, my love," He said in a velvety voice "I'll never disappoint you again, I swear! I will be your knight from now on until forever. You can count on me-"

_**Crack!**_

Alice's toy rapier hit Decus's cheekbone with such force, it almost threw him off balance.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Alice knotted her eyebrows together and jumped away from Decus "What have I told you about personal space, you stinky idiot?"

"_Stinky?_" Decus asked rubbing his bruised cheekbone "Alice, don't you like my cologne? It's called Eau de _Seduction_" He winked.

Alice rolled her eyes "You are getting more stupid by the minute" She glared "Now, now. I'll let it slide this time" She said in a syrupy voice "But if you touch me again, I'll rip your hands off. Understood, Dumbo Decus?" She giggled.

". . . I understand, Alice" Decus pressed his lips together.

"Very good!" She smiled and took another bite of the melting chocolate bar in her hand "You're not a lost cause, after all" She nodded with a pleased expression.

"But," Decus said.

"Huh? But what?"

"Can I still hold you in my arms, my dearest Alice?" He said with his arms wide open "A hug at least? I want to show you how much I care for you and how good you make me feel!"

"_What?_" Alice snapped "Ugh! You reek! Stay Away from me" She ran in the opposite direction, heading towards the city's exit.

"Alice, my Alice! Wait!" He said, jogging after the blonde.

"I messed up again!" He said to himself "That didn't work out either!"

And he crossed out another failed step of the book.

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><p>And that's the second chapter done! Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed it!<p>

See you next time!

**~MonaLisa**


	4. Step 3

Hi, guys! Welcome back to the factory! We are almost done with this mini story. Only two more chapters or so and we are done! Wahoo!

Info on this fic:

**Title:** The many ways to win someone's heart

**Rating:** K

**Pairing:** Decus/Alice

**Genre:** Romance and humor

I hope you enjoy it!

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><p><strong>THE MANY WAYS TO WIN SOMEONE'S HEART<strong>

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><p><strong>3<strong>

**FROWN AND BEAR IT**

_**Step 153: Spice it up with a bit of angst.**_

Women enjoy the company of men that have endured a fair share of hardships in their lives. In the exact words of the great Zelos Wilder, _"Girls go crazy for a dark, brooding guy with an emotional scar"_. So make sure you frown more often to add up to your charms.

…

Decus was getting desperate. He turned the page.

So far none of the steps in this book had worked. If anything, it seemed they were driving Alice further away rather than closer. But hope dies last, and he was set on trying. There just _had_ to be a trick inside this book that would work on Alice- There just had to! It wouldn't be a bestseller if it didn't have good advice. And it hadn't been the cheapest book either, so . . .

He turned the page again.

_**Step 92: A good sense of humor will sweep her off her feet.**_

Nope. Bad idea. Alice wasn't one for jokes and if he ever said something funny and she thought he was mocking her . . . better not take the risk. He had even less chances of winning her heart if he died.

He turned the page.

_**Step 101: Avoid the friend zone. Establish your intentions as clearly as possible. **_

He had done that already- more times than he could remember. He was pretty sure Alice knew of his intentions. And that hadn't worked well either.

He turned the page.

_**Step 153: Spice it up with a bit of angst.**_

His mouth curved into a smirk. That sounded promising!

He closed the book (Not before marking the page!) and quickly exited his room on the house of salvation to go find Alice.

…

In the end, Alice found him. And that was a good thing, actually- because she found him just how he wanted it to happen. He was leaning his body against the house of salvation's front door. With his hands on his pockets and his eyes fixed on the dirt at his feet. He was frowning so hard, his forehead muscles were already feeling tense. Was it possible for his face to freeze like that? He wondered. He certainly hoped not- it would mar his good looks.

"What are you doing standing there, Decus?" Alice asked sounding _very_ annoyed. Decus didn't say anything. He just shrugged.

"Resting, are you? Are you tired?" Alice asked in a faux-sweet voice "Poor, poor, Dumbo Decus. He doesn't want to go to Iselia's human ranch. Boo-hoo!" She moved her hips from side to side while making fun of Decus.

"I'm not tired" Decus mumbled keeping his character. He still didn't look up from the ground to stare at Alice. He even chewed his lower lip to add a little extra to his acting "I don't want to fall sleep. Not anymore. Never again" He sighed dramatically and straightened, moving his body off the door "I cannot stand the nightmares any longer. My torturous dreams plague my mind. I'd rather be awake always" He looked up and stared directly at Alice's golden eyes.

She looked at him with a puzzled expression and raised an eyebrow.

"What the-?"

"I guess some wounds aren't meant to heal at all, my love" Decus said walking closer to Alice- his hands balled into fists "I sometimes wonder if they'll ever go away. But I've grown accustomed to the pain"

Alice _stared_ at him. It was actually making Decus a bit nervous.

"What is wrong with you?" Alice asked exasperated, eyeing him up and down. Her amber eyes were aflame "Why have you been acting so weird lately?"

"Weird you say, my beloved? Maybe I'm just not capable of acting normal anymore. . ."

"Ugh" Alice snorted "Whatever. I'm leaving. You can stay and sulk all you want. I've got more important things to do" with that she turned around and started walking in the opposite direction.

"Ah! N-no- - My Alice, wait for me!" Decus ran after her, taking the blue leather book out of his bag and scanning through it quickly.

"Uh, um, hunny" He started reading out loud "today your smile looks as radiant as a thousand diamonds. Your eyes are beautiful and full of life. Your voice is as sweet as any angel's"

"What now?" Alice rolled her eyes and turned to stare at him sounding thoroughly annoyed "Ha! I knew you were hiding something" She said staring at the book Decus was holding "So this was it. You were reading this stupid book and your poor little brain was overloaded. Poor Dumbo-Decus" She forcefully took (more like ripped!) the book from Decus's hands.

"No, Alice, wait-"

"What is it about, anyway?" Alice said studying the cover.

"It's just-"

"The many ways to win someone's heart?"

Decus gulped. _'Damn it. This is it'_

"The many ways to win someone's _heart_?" She said again, this time staring furiously at Decus. Her eyes turned darker.

"M-My Alice-"

_**Crack!**_

Alice's toy rapier hit him hard in the left temple.

"We need to get to Iselia's human ranch, we need to find Colette, we need to report back to Richter . . ." Her eyes narrowed "And you're reading a book about _dating_?"

_**Crack!**_

"My love, I-" Decus said, rubbing his bruised temple.

_**Crack!**_

"I am _not_ your love!" Alice spat "It will never happen, Decus. Get that through your head already!" She threw the book to the ground and kicked it away "And stop reading this useless books! Focus on something useful like collecting exspheres. Or defeating Emil"

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She smoothed down her hair and bent her toy rapier "Well, well. Look at what you've done, Dumbo-Decus" She said in a soft and childish voice "You made me lose my temper. Tsk Tsk Tsk"

"I'm sorry" Decus said almost automatically.

"You better be" Alice winked and started walking again. Decus followed.

"Now then. What have we learned today?" She turned to him with a broad, bright smile.

"Uh, um" Decus blinked.

"We learned that we should focus on our mission and on being useful, right?" Alice asked.

"Right, my Alice"

"And that we would stop focusing on . . . what?" She raised an eyebrow.

"On . . . us?" Decus asked.

"That's right! You're smarter than I thought" She clapped while giggling.

"Very well, my Alice. I've learned my lesson" Decus said "I'm going to stop focusing on us"

"_Finally_" Alice said.

"And I'm going to focus only on you, my lovely, beautiful Alice!" He said confidently, smiling at her.

"_WHAT?_"

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><p>Almost done with this one! I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave reviews! It'd be awesome!<p>

**~MonaLisa**


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